TOP TEN: List of Dominant Thoughts in life Thus far

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1. I hate writing online. Writing online has killed nearly everything good about writing. All these competing ideas, and articles to get more likes and clicks, tends to move what’s really good about words and thoughts away from popular culture. Write for clarity, they say, don’t write things that are too long, don’t introduce new characters without some sort of explanation, make things easier for the reader, you’re competing for attention remember?! Put in lists! top tens! write about relationships! people love relationships. Write with humor and expletives, people love that!  I say, if J.R.R. Tolkien ever applied any of these “rules” Lord of the Rings would never exist.

2. Doing life has been tough so far. Maybe it’s because people like me are just entering the cusp of life, filled with endless self-doubt. ” Am I in the right job?” ” Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?” ” This job’s okay… but…” There’s always this “but”, this big question mark at the back of our minds that unsettles you every time you think “I’m good.” ” I’m happy” or ” I’m okay”. You graduated with a good degree, good education, and you think you’re ready for work but when you enter the workforce, what you’re doing has nothing to do with the skills you learned in your study. There are people that say ” Oh you’re just a baby!” nearly every.single.day, and you are. Nothing seems to really fit, being educated in a largely Western tradition, prepares you for nearly nothing about being part of a Malaysian workforce.

3. The Generation Y syndrome? There’s been so much talk about it these days, and the funny thing is these articles about GEN Y are being circulated by GEN-Y-ers themselves. Is it in agreement to many of these claims? That we are coddled and self-absorbed? I agree. But there are some things that GEN Y’s in Malaysia can’t really help. The part where parents pay for their education and rent. It’s more of economics and how far the ringgit goes, if young Malaysians are able to afford paying for their own education, and paying for their houses and cars, they would. I’ve tried suggesting that I wanted to live on my own, and I nearly got disowned. Which might have been nice.

My point is, if the point of these articles are to highlight the problems, then they did a good job. But so far, no one has been able to highlight a good solution, and that’s whats missing. Want an easy solution? Get Generation Y to do things to help other people. The fastest way to step out of their self-absorption and actually look outwardly.

4. Looking back when I was ten, I’m not the person I hoped I would be when I turn twenty. I thought I’d have it together by now. I was greater at being 16 than I am at being 23. I might have been a great 16 year old, I had way more successes and adventures in my years. I had a reach-for-the-stars attitude in life. Now, I find myself constantly “settling” and just really tired all the time.

5. I wanted to be a writer, but you can only really call yourself a writer when you actually, write something, and I’m at the point in my life where I don’t think “blogging” counts as “writing”. What have I written so far? Some commentary pieces, some online pieces for some magazines people don’t read, and some pieces for a magazine I’m not working at anymore.

6. In many ways thirties are the new twenties, and forties are the new thirties and so on. I’m at the age where I don’t really care about my age, so I’m just going to make a blanket statement- I can’t wait till I’m thirty or forty. One, it’s a universal truth that men in their thirties are far better than men in their twenties, and two, I’m waiting for the point in my life where I just don’t care what people think. So people thirty and over, please tell me that my assumptions about being older are true, mostly that you stop caring about what people think, and that men get better than what’s currently happening.

ALSO THIRD, I am poor, I don’t spend money on anything I like, unless you count the purchases I made last night, which don’t count because I didn’t buy anything for myself for six months. The only other time was during the Chinese New Year sale, and now it’s the Ramadhan sale. Can’t wait till more experience equates to more money.

7. What do you think about Marriage and Kids? 

I think nothing of it. Except marriage seems like a way out from living with the parents ( an issue of economics), saying this, it seems exhaustive that the only way I can finally live on my own, is if i lived with someone else, bound by law, and that idea seems pretty exhaustive to me. And kids, refer to point 6, I have barely enough money to keep myself alive let alone another human being.

8. You know what’s really annoying about indie/musical people? 

The constant policing of what’s “good” and what’s “not”. What?! I thought you guys “loved” music, I didn’t know you hated so much more than you claimed to “love”.

9. Speaking of music… Parquet Courts

Parquet Courts is the kind of band you warm up to because you imagine, they could very possibly be you. A little unfit, muffin tops, slightly geeky, nerdy, and in clothes that look like they just got out of their houses; and when Austin Brown bends over to the manipulate feedback effects, you catch a glimpse of his butt-crack. Comparing them to other post-punk alternatives, they stand out as being slightly more lyrically-driven. Most music lovers don’t pay much attention to lyrics and words in a song, but this band just happens to make you take notice.

10.  One of the funnier thoughts that came from my friend Nat was when he said, 

” A Bro doesn’t hold another bro’s hand…”,

It was in response to when Daryl and I got together. We were ‘bros’ before this, we were really ‘GOOD FRIENDS’, and  I liked it that way. So I really don’t relate to all this talk in sub-culture about “friendzoning”, because, everyone’s my friend. I like friends, I love friendships, in many ways I treasure friendships much more than any type of ship.  SO being a friend isn’t secondplace to relationships.

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4 comments

  1. hello there. hope you’re feeling good today 🙂
    stumbled upon your blog when someone posted the “Why I Hate Capital FM” post on FB. liked your writing and kept reading. so anyways, as a 33-year-old person, just wanted to reaffirm that yes, you will care less about what other people think when you’re in your thirties (but do tread carefully with loved ones, or you might regret it) but do go ahead and feel all the 20-something feelings because these are what will contribute to you being a better you. Also, speaking as a freelance writer and editor, to fix the third part of #6 and #5 simultaneously, do go online (magazine publishers group on LinkedIn, for example) and search for publications that accept contribution from freelancers. One media is SLOW magazine. Do Google it. In the meantime, get back to working for a magazine, preferably in a company you haven’t worked for before, to build your contacts. I’ve been lucky to have constant freelancing jobs from former colleagues from 3 different companies. I’ve been working since 2003, though, so yeah, experience counts, too, in getting those jobs. Hope what I’m sharing here will help you somewhat. All the best!

    1. Hi Zurien thank you for taking your time to leave a comment. and thank you for your advice. I have plans to write more extensively in the coming year and I will take your advice 🙂 all the best to you as well, hope you have a good day.

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